A Few Thoughts on Soccer

With the 2021 European Championship Semifinals concluding yesterday afternoon (congratulations, England and Italy), I wanted to share a few highly-developed opinions that I have about the sport in general. As a quadrennial soccer fan, I like to think I have incredible insight into the nature of the world's most popular sport. I remember prior years when, as a younger man, I insisted continually that there were no redeeming qualities about futbol, but the years have worn me down to the point where my wife has now had to listen to multiple recent tirades in which I detail the pros and cons of the sport. For the sake of her health, I turn now to this blog as an outlet through which I can finally articulate this difficult truth: Soccer actually isn't the worst.

Yes, I know. How can a sport fraught with 0-0 ties and hilariously exaggerated "injuries" appeal to the modern audience? What kind of sport doesn't have a definitive temporal ending, but rather defers to the whims of probably-bribed referees for when the action should conclude? Is it possible to enjoy games when some of the very best players somehow forget how to kick the ball into the net from 5 feet away? Trust me, I have previously held these opinions to the umpteenth degree. However, I'm getting soft in my old age and there's nothing else to watch in the middle of these summer afternoons besides baseball! At the risk of being burned at the American-Sports-Puritan stake, let me point out three aspects of soccer that rival or even surpass that of the most popular sports in the U.S.

1. The Geographical Drama

I'll say it simply, there is no better sport when it comes to organizing arbitrarily-associated people into one unified movement. What I mean by this is that soccer brings out the patriotism in all countries better than any other sport (probably because it's not dominated by only one country). There's a level of tribalism in the international tournaments that just makes me happy, and the loyalty seems so much more authentic because the fans usually have an actual physical connection to the country's team. Sure, there are bandwagon fans that jump in as the tournaments progress (mainly Americans picking a random country because we've already been eliminated), but it's relatively small compared to other sports (from my perspective). Also, how awesome is it when a country nobody has ever heard of gets elevated on a WORLD stage (see: England in 2021)? I feel that in other sports, the team itself is what captures the eye of the beholders beyond the city/country they belongs to, whereas in soccer it is the other way around. Most significantly, there are many more opportunities for these international clashes. Beyond the World Cup itself, there are large tournaments and international friendlies at a much-higher rate. I know international competition is not unique to soccer, but it's much more common/amplified.

2. The Game Flow

Commercials have always been a bit of a nuisance, but the increase in dead time during football and basketball games has only ramped up in the recent years. Soccer is much more fluid in terms of game-flow. When you sit down to watch a soccer game, you know that you're going to be occupied for two 45-minute halves (plus 1-6 more, whatever) with a 15 minute break in the middle. While other sports have frequent breaks in between the action, you can be very confident about the time-frame of a soccer game. It's phenomenal for the time-conscious viewer.

3. The Fans

In a different sport, a singular streaker or group of streakers may be ejected in a given game. In soccer, a whole fanbase can get the hammer because of their, ahem, choice words. I'm by no means condoning any actions that go over the top, but I appreciate what the frequent run-ins between fanbases and officials represents: pure fanaticism. Whether it's at the club or the international level, the fans in the stands for soccer games are legitimately insane. As someone who deeply values the environment of a stadium as a foundational part of a sports viewing experience, soccer presents a very appealing, raucous product.

Free Euro 2021 Final Preview from a Newfound Soccer Expert/Apologist

Italy wins 2-1. England hasn't won anything relevant since before 1776.