- Jake Hunter
- Feb 12, 2022
- 1 min read
It's the eve of the most-watched sporting event of the year: The Super Bowl. Pitting the Los Angeles Rams against the de-facto home team in the Cincinnati Bengals (I kid, but only slightly) in a sparkling new stadium sponsored by a loan company with the worst commercial jingle/theme song currently on the airwaves, this year's edition of television's most-watched yearly production will hopefully provide an exciting new conclusion to this most recent chapter in the NFL's storied history. Our panel of contributors has you covered with a few expert picks to guide your viewing experience tomorrow.
The Picks
​ |  Will |  Josh |  Taylor |  Jake |
Company With the Best Commercial | Doritos, somehow | Geico | Doritos | E-Trade. The baby is back. |
​Which Player Scores the First Touchdown? | Cooper Kupp, because Matt Stafford only throws to hime | Samaje Perine | Matt Stafford runs it in for the first tuddie. His wife throws a pretzel at a hater's face. All is right in the world | Odell Beckham Jr. The world's greatest teammate gets a big TD on the NFL's biggest stage. |
Who Wins Super Bowl MVP? | Matt Stafford, because originality | Van Jefferson, probably | Aaron Donald | Hawkeye Legend Mike Daniels |
What Wins MVP of Your Super Bowl Food Options? | Pickle Dip. Muy delicioso. | Chicken anything is good | Taylor's Chocolate Nutter Butter Footballs | Taylor's Ranch Mix |
Which Halftime Performer Performs FIRST? | Snoop Dogg | Tony Romo | Mary J. Blige | Dr. Dre (Singing California Love) |
How Many Times Is Joe Burrow Sacked? | Four. The Rams line is good, but they aren't going to kill him EVERY play | Six | At Least Six | Seven. If they would've drafted Penei Sewell, I would have said three. Nice job, Cincinnati. |
Coin Toss: Heads or Tails? | Pain. (Assigned Tails Automatically) | Heads | Heads | Heads. Tails always fails. Except when it doesn't. But this time it does. |
Who Wins The Game? | Rams 27, Bengals 19 The Bengals seem like the team of destiny, winning three straight games with grit and gusto, even winning in the vaunted Arrowhead Stadium against the Super Bowl-favorite Chiefs. However, they’ve been really blessed by playing some weak opponents and then having the Chiefs utterly collapse to give them the victory. The Rams are very much a paper tiger, but they get the road win in their own stadium to close out their all-in season | Bengals in OT (I know this goes against my MVP pick but I don’t care) | Bengals | Bengals. Win one for Harambe. |
Which Team Lost In Their First Playoff Game This Year AT HOME to A Team Quarterbacked By Jimmy Garoppolo? | You Know Who😉 | The Aaron Rodgers-led Green Bay Packers | Ummmmm the Packers maybe? | I'm sure no respectable football organization would ever be capable of such a thing. So it's gotta be the Packers. |