All the RAGE: A Review/Synopsis of 2002's 28 Days Later

I'd been looking forward to watching this film for quite a while (possibly even more than 28 days) after seeing its inclusion on the HBO Max streaming platform we recently subscribed to. Zombie movies in general have moderate appeal to me, as I enjoy survival stories that contain a fair amount of heart-pounding suspense. Overall, the genre has proved disappointing to me, as films like World War Z and I Am Legend piqued my interest greatly only to provide at best an adequate (and nothing more) viewing experience.

28 Days Later was different, though. An early-2000s low-budget classic with almost universal acclaim from critics and the general public alike, the selling points I consistently heard about director Danny Boyle's classic involved more than mindless violence and suspense (though those were said to exist in high supply as well). This film offered "sharp insight and commentary" about political and moral dilemmas associated with devastating catastrophes like a large-scale epidemic that ravages even the proudest symbols of human society.

All this goes to say that I was extremely excited for this film. I'm not a lover of British cinema, per se, but this movie seemed to transcend individual preferences and appeal to almost everyone who watched it. My wife and I settled in eager to watch what we hoped would be one of our favorite films to re-watch for years to come.

Instead, we came to realize that the film's title was less a plot allusion and more a warning about how much life it felt like you wasted while watching it.

The Story

I'm not going to lie; this movie had my full attention for a scene. I'm telling you right now that I am going to give you a rough synopsis of the entire film in this review. I'm not going to give you a single spoiler alert because either A. You've already seen the movie (it's almost 20 years old) or B. You haven't, but I'm going to spare you the experience.

The first scene opens in a dark, ominous laboratory. A number of frenetic chimps are being held in cages, but one is shackled to a bed and forced to watch the Colbert Report (probably) for hours and hours consecutively. A group of animal rights activists break into the lab by elaborately walking straight into it unchallenged because security wasn't invented in Britain until at least 2003. As the activists are about to free the poor experimental subjects, a doctor/scientist manifests out of the writer's imagination and warns them that the chimps are infected with a dangerous virus and are highly contagious.

When pressed regarding the nature of the virus these animals are carrying, the guy in the lab coat ominously says, "Rage". Undeterred by the case put forward by science dude, the activists release one of the chimps, which immediately bites its liberator. After somehow surviving the doctor's attempts to kill them with a stool, the newly-infected activist goes on a brief violent outburst against the others in the room before turning to the camera-man with red "Rage virus" contact lenses now placed over their eyes. The screen cuts to black.

A series of expositional news channel clips air for a little bit to let us know that, no, the virus did not, in fact stay in the completely unsecured lab after the first scene. Clearly, this virus is, as Dr. Doolittle said in the opening scene, "highly contagious". As dozens of movies have copied since, this movie assures us that society as we know it has been turned completely upside-down without actually showing us how that would go down from a true storytelling perspective.

The words 28 Days Later appear on the screen for a few moments, reminding us what the title of the movies is.

We then get a cut to Cillian Murphy's uncensored groin laying in a hospital bed. I would have warned you about that, but the movie didn't warn me either. We later come to find out that he was hit by a car while riding his bicycle for his job, and that's why he is in the hospital. Allegedly that is also enough backstory to reasonably describe why he happened to be in a coma, survive almost a month without any medical assistance (presumably), and then magically wake up. Also, I would like to point out that in America, we do not leave our coma patients naked for the duration of their time in our care.

Cillian (now clothed) walks around London's major landmarks by himself for a bit so we can tell that he is, in fact, in London. It's an iconic scene (I'll give props where it's due) as Cillian wanders around searching for a mysteriously absent population. He eventually wanders into a church, where he comes to discover that the priest he probably saw once a year at Christmas is infected with the virus and is eager to spread RAGE to our protagonist. Chased by the priest and several other infected persons who saw him in the church, Cillian runs back through the streets of London before eventually being saved by a couple people in gas masks who blow up half of the city to kill 4 zombies.

"Wow, all of Cogito Ergo Cogito's haters are out in force today"

Cillian is introduced to his two rescuers: Guy-Who-Will-Absolutely-Die and Female Love Interest. They exchange some conversations about how they need to survive, and Cillian insists that they trek across the city to see if his parents are still alive. The two new companions argue (correctly) that there's close to no chance that two old people are still alive after this devastating epidemic that they have been living in for weeks longer than Cillian has. However, they come to realize that he (Cillian) is the main character and that we need to get this plot moving forward, so they agree to go searching the next day (or maybe the same day, I don't really know).

Shockingly, the parents are dead, having killed themselves with sleeping pills to get out of filming the rest of this movie. The survivors opt to spend the night in the house, where some zombies wait a few hours to ambush them at because it looks cooler to have the scene shot at night. Guy-Who-Will-Absolutely-Die saves Cillian in the fray but is scratched/bitten in the process. Female Love Interest waits 0.00004 seconds to kill him to prevent him from turning into a zombie.

It's important to know that the virus works really fast via blood or bite to turn the infected person into a zombie. It's also important here to recognize an important rule that we come to learn about how the zombies work in this movie: There isn't one. The zombies aren't afraid of the sun (as evidenced by their persistent chasing of Cillian from the church). They aren't attracted by sound, smell, or any inciting stimulus (as evidenced by them waiting to attack the house until the moon was at a good angle for the director's shot). They just kind of exist and show up when we need to manufacture tension.

Anyways, back to the story. Cillian and Love Interest wander around for a bit before noticing lights flickering in the upper floors of an apartment building. They begin to climb the stairs up toward the top of the building, and we take some time to briefly touch on the fact that your blood sugars get low when you don't eat enough sugar (thanks, Doctor Danny Boyle, I thought we just ate food because it looked cool in movies) before some zombies chase them up the stairs. Cillian gets tired on the way up, but thankfully the two are saved when Brendan Gleeson, clad in an airtight combination of three thick Gap sweaters and a lacrosse helmet, fights off the zombies with a Swiffer duster.

Brendan Gleeson welcomes the weary travelers into his home that he's been surviving in with his daughter. After locking the door and saying some exposition, Gleeson has his daughter imbibe in some celebratory creme de menthe with the adults because they're all alive and the cops who frown upon underage drinking aren't. We get to see some manufactured romantic tension between Cillian and Love Interest that comes completely out of nowhere, and all is well for the moment.

The next day (this would be approximately "31 Days Later" for those of you keeping track), we find out that Brendan Gleeson has found a repeating radio broadcast that urges survivors to go to Manchester for help. It was at this point that I legitimately discovered that Manchester is not right by downtown London, which surprised me because (for some reason) I thought the entire country of Britain was basically within a five-mile radius of London. Brendan Gleeson suggests that they all work together to make the journey to find wherever the broadcast is coming from. Love Interest, who also doubles as a heartless scumbag for the first hour of the film, suggests to Cillian that the people who started the broadcast might already be dead, and that they should leave as Brendan Gleeson and his daughter would likely slow her and Cillian down, saying "They need us more than we need them". Despite her reservations, Love Interest relents on her ruthless plan after Brendan Gleeson's daughter basically plays the classic elementary school playground "I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you" card and insists that they actually all might need each other.

The foursome suits up and sets out for what Brendan Gleeson says is a "multiple day journey". I looked it up (so you don't have to), and Manchester is a little over 2oo miles from London. If you drive at 30(!) miles an hour for one eight-hour shift, my calculator says that you would easily get there in one day. Gleeson has a bladder the size of my patience for this movie's absurdity. Their travels start uneventfully as they drive through the city and into a tune before Brendan Gleeson decides it's a good idea to floor it over a 20-foot pile of cars and is mercifully rewarded by the screenwriting gods with only a flat tire. Apparently, the flat tire released rage pheromones or something, as a horde of infected immediately start running towards the car from a distance. In a legitimately terrifying scene, the band of travelers opt to have the little girl fix the flat tire as the screams of the enraged grow closer and closer. Their decision is a fruitful one, as the daughter turns out to be a Formula One pit crew member and fixes the tire in less time than you can say "Having a low budget doesn't mean your movie is good". The group speeds off, and the infected people suddenly have rationality and literally slow down and stop running like I do when I get tired after running for a quarter of a mile. You would think the extras could give Boyle 4 seconds of uninterrupted running just to make the scene look better, but I digress.

"Let's leave the tire changing to the 12 year-old"

After reaching the zombie-free (for now) zone on the other end of the tunnel, the team makes a quick pit stop at an abandoned gas station to try to find fuel. Brendan Gleeson opts to suction fuel out of a tanker truck with his mouth while Cillian decides now is as good a time as any to see if any of the burgers in the station's restaurant were left completely untouched by the elements for the last month like he was in the hospital. Unfortunately, the only fresh thing in the restaurant is a freshly infected child, whom Cillian immediately kills without remorse. The team spends a night under a stone archway in a field by some sheep (no, I don't know why), during which Cillian has a dream where he is abandoned by the rest of the group. Foreshadowing? No. It literally has no bearing on the rest of the story. The group restarts their journey the next morning without incident.

Finally, the group reaches Manchester and locates the station broadcasting the message, but there is nobody there to be found. It seems all hope is lost. Brendan Gleeson wanders into a shed to retire from acting after this debacle (probably) and notices a dead body hanging from the rafters. Thinking rationally, Gleeson decides that the best vantage point to observe this body from is from directly beneath it. Gleeson further demonstrates his mental acumen by kicking the beam that the body is hanging from while standing in such a perfect viewing spot that he happens to be in the perfect spot for a drop of blood to fall directly onto his cornea. Cinema, man. It's incredible. The virus waits just long enough to infect him to allow for a poignant moment of dread and sorrow before he is quickly pumped full of lead by a group of soldiers with guns who were apparently waiting for this exact situation to happen before revealing themselves to our travelers.

It is at this point in the story where we essentially have the end of one movie and the beginning of another. Fortunately for me, this second movie is excessively simple to describe, so it won't take much for time for me to type it out.

The second act, something I will affectionately christen 32-ish Days Later, begins with the soldiers who just killed Brendan Gleeson bringing the remaining three travelers back to their compound. From the get-go, I'll just say that these dudes are all acting weird. The general of the soldiers shows Cillian and the two ladies around the compound, making it apparent that they have returned to some level of normal society. Regular meals, warm showers, the works. They all gather together for a meal that includes omelets that turn out to be made with rotten eggs (a fitting analogy for tomatoes I would use to rate this film). The general speaks of the savagery that has happened in the time since the plague began, going to extreme lengths to mention that is has been four weeks (wait, 4 weeks is 28 days...) since this all began (Fact Check: It's been 32-ish days at this point).

Some other stuff happens, but basically we come to realize that the general's plan was to wait until the infected people starved and then force any females the brigade could find into...ahem...servitude to the men in the unit (yikes). That's why they were sending out the radio message. One of the guys in the unit named Farrell doesn't like it, and he also believes that the virus is actually contained solely on Britain and has not spread to the rest of the world. After the revelation of the general’s plans for Love Interest and Brendan Gleeson's daughter, Cillian gets upset and tries to escape with the ladies out the main exit in broad daylight. What he didn't account for in his otherwise airtight escape plan was the chance that the soldiers might actually want to keep their prisoners, and their escape is thwarted.

The general tells a couple soldiers to take Cillian and Farrell out into the woods to execute them. Fortunately for Cillian, he is able to deftly escape from them by

*checks notes*

running away from them after they start arguing and punching each other in the face.

In the midst of his escape, Cillian notices a jet trail in the sky above. This is an incredible revelation, as it means that Farrell's assertion that the rest of the world might be functioning is likely correct. Realizing this, and I'm not exaggerating here, turns Cillian from a somewhat wimpy guy into literally Rambo. He begins to dispatch some of the soldiers around the compound and turns his eye toward the main house, where he then unleashes Mailer, an infected soldier that the general had chained up in an attempt to study the effects of the virus. Mailer wreaks havoc around the compound, infecting more and more soldiers with each passing moment. Cillian also dispatches numerous soldiers, all while not wearing a shirt (you're welcome, ladies).

In a climactic moment, a bloodied Cillian rushes into the room where Love Interest is being held by one last remaining soldier. He kills the soldier, but Love Interest thinks for a fleeting moment that he might be infected. Cillian turns to her, and she suddenly realizes that he's the main character and that there's no way he could actually be infected. Cillian says something romantic, and they passionately kiss without any concerns about any of the blood splattered literally all over his chest because true love offers immunity to any and all viruses.

"The only things raging in here are my emotions for you"

They stride out the main entrance of the house, and Brendan Gleeson's daughter has been reprising her role in Formula One, this time as a driver. In the time that Cillian and Love Interest were making out, she established her cuteness and innocence by directly causing the death of the general by aggressively backing the vehicle towards Mailer, who broke through the rear window and pulled the screaming general outside and drug him, still screaming, to his death. It was a really bad guy and she had a really cute smile the whole time, so it's perfectly innocent.

The trio are now in the car, and Cillian has now had enough time separated from passionate experiences to realize he's almost dead from blood loss. In an attempt to save himself, he bravely commands Brendan Gleeson's daughter to try to drive through the currently-closed front gate of the compound at full speed while he courageously sits in the back of the car with Love Interest. The scene cuts as the car makes impact.

The phrase "28 Days Later" appears on the screen for a second time, insisting that we're still watching the same film even though I know they're lying. Cillian is in a hospital again, but this time he has a blanket covering his genitals (thank goodness). We realize that Love Interest and Brendan Gleeson's daughter found a deserted hospital that probably has some expired medicine in it, and they were able to treat Cillian's ailments the same way his doctors treated his car accident wounds at the beginning of the movie: By leaving him in a coma for four weeks.

All is well for the trio at this point. We see that they have supplies and that they are safe from the infected where they are at. They know that their final destination is not in this new paradise, however, and they realize that they need to make some sort of signal to anyone who may happen to fly above them to let them know that there are three survivors on this island (the country of Great Britain). Fortunately for them, they have all the sheets from the hospital that they can lay out on a hillside near them. Thinking logically, they knit together their supply of sheets to spell out "HELLO" on the hillside instead of, I don't know, "HELP" or something shorter that they could make bigger and easier for people above to see. Brendan Gleeson's daughter hears a plane from apparently 50 miles away and runs inside to tell the other two "It's coming". At this moment, the three of them run out to the hillside and try to set the entire message up in time for the fighter plane, which flies literally twenty feet directly above their hill to see it. Love Interest turns to Cillian and, with a smile and a twinkle in her eye, says "Do you think he saw us this time?", implying that they probably have run this stupid drill multiple times before. It is literally SO stupid.

"They're quoting Adele. Must not need any help over here."

The screen cuts to black, and the nightmare is over.

My Thoughts

Ultimately, my thoughts about the film are pretty apparent in my synopsis above, but I'll give a little more analysis now. It's a dumb movie in a lot of ways. I understand some of the hype in the sense that there are legitimately interesting concepts about the breakdown of society in the film, but the whole thing is so goofy that it ruins most of that for me as well. The concept of rage as an almost virulent and toxic force is actually a pretty interesting idea, but the movie doesn't lean heavily enough into that idea to make it satisfying in any way.

The acting is good. I like Cillian Murphy and I really like Brendan Gleeson as actors. They do their best in this movie to elevate it when they can, though I will never be able to believe Cillian can play a true protagonist in anything (sorry). There is a substantial amount of well-done violence/action for a low-budget movie like this, but the mechanics of so many scenes just do not make sense if you think about them for two seconds. Something must be said for how influential it is to the genre in general, as I have seen tons of similar motifs show up in various zombie/pandemic films that were made after this one.

I'll give the directors credit, they found a way to make the movie jump off the screen at times. The strongest praise I have for the movie is the fact that, despite so many things working against it (budget, the writing, etc.), it is legitimately terrifying in a few scenes. Not in a jump-scare or creepy way, but rather a heart-pounding, life-or-death terror that grips the viewer as much as the characters. The scene in the tunnel is an all-time white-knuckle moment in my experience watching movies.

If only they would have realized that the rage virus was equally capable of spreading through the screen and into my already bleeding eyes as I watched literally every other aspect of this cinematic excrement. Also, for crying out loud, this movie looks like it was shot through a dirty window on the LG Rumor Touch I had in 8th grade. Do better! You still had $8 million!

For a film that had so much acclaim, I expected it to at least not be terrible.

Way to surpass my expectations, Danny Boyle. Cillian Murphy's genitals barely made the top ten for things I hated about this movie.

The JHMP

Please don't patronize this movie unless you're making fun of it.

Cogito Ergo Cogito's 2021-22 NBA Primer

After a rocky year and a half during the height of the COVID pandemic, the 2021-22 NBA Season looks primed to be one of the best in the past couple decades.

It's Opening Night in the NBA, so I'm setting out to do something I hope is fairly synonymous with this blog as a whole in the coming years: Doing all the extra research so you don't have to. In this article, I'll do my best to summarize the key storylines and characters heading into the NBA's historic 75th season so you can at least give the impression that you're a moderately-informed NBA fan in case of emergency (for example: You run into someone on the street and he tells you he'll steal all your money unless you can tell him which city hates Ben Simmons the most). This article is a service to you, so the least you can do is read it, like it, and share it with all your friends. I'm trying to save lives here.

Also, the NBA needs more fans, so maybe this will sway some of you into watching 2 NBA games this year instead of zero.

Major Storylines Heading Into the Season

The Ben Simmons Saga

The Philadelphia 76ers star has been perhaps the major topic of discussion in the league ever since a horrific showing in the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals last season that culminated in co-star Joel Embiid (a much better player than Simmons) indirectly sending some criticisms toward Simmons' play and attitude in the offseason. Simmons has indicated rather strongly that he wants out of Philadelphia, and Sixers fans seem wholeheartedly on board with that idea as well.

Complicating things is the fact that Simmons' trade value has diminished considerably due to his horrid playoff performance, making him a much more difficult asset for Philadelphia to move for a favorable return. Simmons is also represented by Klutch Sports, a sports agency that holds an unrivaled amount of power in the league due in large part to its strong connection with LeBron James. Klutch has indicated that it wants Simmons out of Philly, but Philly GM Darryl Morey is (justifiably) insistent on receiving a fair return in any trade that might move Simmons elsewhere.

The situation has boiled over into a seemingly unsolvable problem leading into the season, raising a few major questions as the Sixers begin actually playing games: Is Simmons so adamant about leaving Philadelphia that he's willing to lose money by sitting out? How much demand is there for a damaged, but undeniably talented young player (Simmons is a mere 25 years old)? Will the resolution of this situation substantially reframe player-team negotiations for the foreseeable future?

When the situation inevitably settles, Simmons will likely be on a new team and the Sixers will undoubtedly look much different as a team than last year's regular season 1st-place team in the Eastern Conference. Will it be for better or for worse for both parties?

Is the End Nearing for LeBron?

Despite my dislike of "The King", I'll wholeheartedly admit that LeBron James has easily had one of the greatest careers in NBA History. One of the core features of James' greatness throughout the years has been an unparalleled record of durability and longevity. That almost immortal resilience seems to finally be breaking down (to some degree) as two of the last seasons have concluded with LeBron significantly hampered by some form of injury (groin in 2019, ankle in 2021). While he is still playing at an elite level when healthy, questions must be asked about the likelihood that James can maintain a high enough level of play for four playoff rounds at this stage in his career.

The Lakers have pushed in the chips for a run at the 2022 title with an extremely aggressive offseason. For their moves to be worth it, they'll need LeBron to be at his best in the playoffs. Last year's first-round exit should be firmly in the rearview mirror, but it might be a harbinger of the things to come, signaling that LeBron's time at the top of the sport is coming to its inevitable end. I know better than to bet against LeBron, but the ball is still in his court to prove if he's still the same dominant force he's been for so long.

COVID Vaccine Discourse

For the record, I actually don't think this storyline will be particularly relevant more than a month from now, but it's still one of the hot-button topics facing the league in the moment. Several players including stars Kyrie Irving and Bradley Beal have expressed hesitancy regarding their willingness to receive the vaccine before the start of the season, and their decision on the matter may cause their availability for certain games to be put into question. There are varying guidelines from city-to-city across the league ranging from more aggressive (New York City) to more relaxed (Dallas, etc.), and a player's vaccination status may affect whether or not they would be able to play in a certain city on a given night.

Regardless of one's opinion on the matter (and there are many unique opinions even amongst the players of the league), the situation is worth monitoring from a competitive standpoint. The Brooklyn Nets' front office has already indicated that they are treating Irving's situation with an "all-or-none" perspective. Either Irving receives the vaccine and remains available for the team regardless of the city they play in, or he won't be with the team at all.

I think the issue will resolve with the players getting the shot, but in the unlikely event that certain players hold out, the whole season could be turned upside down as key players miss extended time.

Who Is the King of the NBA Going Forward?

As alluded to above, LeBron's time as the king of the league is coming to a close. In fact, it may already be over.

Milwaukee Bucks star Giannis Antetokounmpo elevated his standing in the league tremendously by carrying his team to the NBA title last season and putting together one of the more dominant individual playoff runs in recent memory.

Kevin Durant was about the width of a magazine from single-handedly toppling Antetokounmpo's Bucks in the Eastern Conference Semifinals last year. Worries about the lingering effects of an Achilles tear in 2018 are long gone, and many experts waffle between Durant and Giannis as the single best players in the league at the moment.

Stephen Curry looked to be back in MVP form last season. Nikola Jokic actually won the award after a sensational season.

Beyond the names above, Luka Doncic remains a titanic talent that may be the only player that matches Giannis' combination of current dominance combined with a tantalizing future.

I think the phrase is overused, but there is more than just a kernel of truth to it: The NBA will be in good hands after LeBron is gone. In fact, it might not even be his league after this season.

The Top Contenders For the Championship

The Brooklyn Nets

One of the more imposing rosters in league history, the Nets come into the 2021-22 season as clear title contenders. You could easily make the case that they should be defending a title from last season as well. Headed up by a lethal scoring trio of Kevin Durant, James Harden, and Kyrie Irving, the Nets boast a tremendous amount of depth that make them an almost fool-proof choice to reach (and win) the NBA Finals this year.

With the addition of Patty Mills and the return of a vast majority of their most impactful rotational players from last season, this team's floor looks like the Eastern Conference Finals. Irving's availability and a history of injury problems plaguing the core three stars of this team present some cause for concern, but let's be honest. They almost beat the defending champions (Milwaukee) with about 1.3 superstars last season. This year, they should have all three and a significantly stronger roster around them.

The Nets are the clear favorites and they should be.

The Los Angeles Lakers

The Lakers were extremely active in the offseason, and it just might result in their second title in three seasons. It might.

Los Angeles bought high on LeBron's good friend and former MVP Russell Westbrook in one of the blockbuster moves this past summer, an extremely polarizing move amongst most NBA experts. Westbrook undeniably brings an energy and athleticism that could supplement LeBron and co-star Anthony Davis' abilities well by forming an ever-desirable "Big 3", but Westbrook's ball-dominant style may cause friction on the court when paired alongside a gravitational player like LeBron James.

Regardless, the Lakers have LeBron, and an old-but-experienced rest of the roster might be plenty to catapult L.A. back into title contention. I'm personally skeptical of the efficacy of lots of the moves they made (this team would have been unbelievable in 2013, but this is 2021), but they have the top-end talent to put them in position for LeBron's fifth ring. They just need to stay healthy.

The Milwaukee Bucks

They're the defending champs, and they're bringing almost the entire team back. Giannis has a chance to stake his claim as the next in line to dominate the NBA for the next decade, and performances like his 2021 playoff run often lead to elite players reaching an entirely new level of sustained excellence going forward.

The reasons why they're slotted behind the Nets when it comes to Eastern Conference dominance seem pretty straightforward, but don't count the Bucks out by any means. Jrue Holiday seemed to take a leap at the Olympics following the NBA Finals last summer, and Khris Middleton made the types of clutch shots that suggest he's ready to dominate his role as a second fiddle to Giannis.

This team has a taste of life as champions, and they've got the talent to suggest that they won't give their throne up without a fight.

The Best of the Rest

These teams aren't the favorites by any means, but if the championship doesn't belong to one of the teams listed above, it will absolutely be won by one of the following teams.

The Phoenix Suns

Last year's Finals runner-up. The crazy thing is that the Suns might have been a year ahead of schedule reaching the championship round last season. With an exciting, improving young core of Devin Booker, Deandre Ayton, and Mikal Bridges orchestrated by the ever-steady Chris Paul, the Suns could absolutely return to the Finals this year.

The Golden State Warriors

Steph Curry is playing game-changing basketball, and Klay Thompson is coming back. The Warriors somewhat overachieved last season by making the play-in tournament, and if the younger contributors on the roster (James Wiseman, Jordan Poole, etc.) can markedly improve, this team will be a threat. If they get substantial contribution from rookies Jonathan Kuminga and Moses Moody, this team could win a title.

The Denver Nuggets

Jamal Murray's ACL injury last season spoiled what could have been a banner postseason in Denver. Defending MVP Nikola Jokic should be sufficient to keep Denver afloat before Murray returns around the second half of this season, and Michael Porter Jr. has ample opportunity to become a star in the meantime. If it all breaks right, the Nuggets winning a title shouldn't surprise anyone.

The Dallas Mavericks

This team consists almost entirely of Luka Doncic and role players. If Kristaps Porzingis added anything on a consistent level, Doncic is good enough to essentially single-handedly beat any team in a playoff series.

The Utah Jazz

They had an incredible opportunity in last year's playoffs when Kawhi Leonard went down in the Western Conference Semifinals, and they bungled it in spectacular fashion. This team, led by Donovan Mitchell, is built to excel in the regular season. They'll likely enter the playoffs with one of the three best records in the conference. Maybe this year they'll live up to their playoff seed.

The Los Angeles Clippers

If they can make the playoffs, I believe that the Clippers are a top-3 threat to come out of the Western conference. That'll be easier said than done, as Kawhi Leonard's torn ACL will have him missing most, if not all, of the regular season. Paul George was tremendous for much of the playoffs last season, and the Clippers will need him to perform at that level to make this season worthwhile. He just needs to get them to the postseason, and Kawhi can do the rest.

The Miami Heat

A frisky, but disappointing team last season following a Finals run in the bubble the year before, the Heat added perhaps the ideal player for their style of play this offseason in former Toronto guard Kyle Lowry. Lowry's grit combined with Jimmy Butler and Bam Adebayo will make the Heat an excruciating team to play night in and night out. I'm more skeptical about their championship odds than most others, but I have to acknowledge the threat that they are.

The Boston Celtics

They were bad last season, and their struggles led to significant shakeup throughout the front office of the franchise this offseason. They have two franchise cornerstones in Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown, but I question whether they have the firepower and grit to challenge the top-tier teams in the East.

The Atlanta Hawks

A surprising run in the 2021 playoffs revealed what NBA experts and fans should have realized before: The Hawks have a ton of talent on their roster. Trae Young is the focal point, but the amount of explosive wing players (Bogdan Bogdanovic, Cam Reddish, Deandre Hunter, Kevin Huerter) and rangy big men (Clint Capela, Onyeka Okongwu) positioned around Young make this team as scary as they are exciting. Rookie Jalen Johnson looks better-than-advertised, and his additional emergence would only add to a roster that is a notch below the top 2 East teams (Bucks and Nets), but as good as any others.

The Philadelphia 76ers

The Ben Simmons saga is looming, but this is still a strong team regardless of how that problem sorts itself out. Joel Embiid is one of the best players in the league when healthy. If the 76ers can add an impact perimeter player in a deal for Simmons, this team would be in the conversation with the Nets and Bucks. As it stands now, they are still a good team that could make the conference finals with a favorable draw. It all comes down to what happens with Simmons.

The Chicago Bulls

I alluded to this team's destiny in an earlier article, but for the sake of fairness, I think the Bulls are a much improved roster that has a high ceiling and low floor. I could squint and see this team in the Eastern Conference Finals and threatening for a spot in the Finals. I could also see them missing the playoffs altogether. The addition of Lonzo Ball and DeMar DeRozan make this an undoubtedly more talented team, but time will tell if their impact extends to the win column.

Players to Watch

Zion Williamson

He's the first on the list because his future is as uncertain as anyone with his talent. The New Orleans Pelicans front office has handled Zion about as poorly as a franchise could, and he clearly is planting the seeds for an exit to a better team as soon as possible. Williamson is a spectacular talent, but his body composition and injury history raise some concerns. The intrigue with Zion is primarily centered around his off-court situation. When he's on the court, he's an All-Pro player.

Damian Lillard

Similar to Zion, Lillard's intrigue revolves around his off-court situation in Portland. The Blazers have been moderately competitive, but Lillard deserves to be playing for championships each year. If this season goes sideways, Lillard may look to a larger market (i.e., New York).

LeBron James

See what I wrote above. This is a pivotal season for the way we look at LeBron's place in the league going forward.

James Harden

He had an abominable ending to his time in Houston, but he played exceptionally well once he got settled in Brooklyn. He was significantly hampered at the end of the playoff series against Milwaukee, and they likely win the title if he's even 80% throughout the postseason. I think he'll be an MVP contender this year as he re-establishes himself as one of the truly elite players in the league.

Paul George

I talked about it briefly above, but Paul George can be the difference between a potential title run and missing the playoffs entirely for the Clippers. He was excellent last year after Kawhi went down, and Clippers fans can only hope he can reprise that role long enough to stem the tide until Kawhi is back.

Luka Doncic

He's excellent, and he's a must-watch player that will only get better this year.

Giannis Antetokounmpo

He's also excellent, and he's a must-watch player that will only get better this year.

Chris Paul

Can he do it again? Paul led the Suns to the Finals after many in league circles thought his career was coming to a close. He's beaten Father Time for a couple years, now, but will it finally catch up to him? If not, the Suns should be in for another special season.

Ja Morant

He's my pick to jump from "really good" to "great" player this year. Morant has his limitations as a player, but he's one of the most exciting young talents in the league. He showed out on the biggest stages last year, and that tends to precede a massive jump as a player. I think Morant will be talked about as a franchise centerpiece after this season.

Cade Cunningham/Evan Mobley/Jalen Suggs/Jalen Green

This could really be any rookie, but these four are the ones who could make the biggest splashes in their first years on bad teams. I've written about each of them before, but my big suggestion for this year is to focus on Jalen Green on the Rockets. He's a special talent and a highlight-reel player.

Final Predictions/Thoughts

I personally would take stock in the Nets. Despite some of the seemingly flammable factors around the team, they are far-and-away the most talented squad in the league.

LeBron isn't the player he once was (he's still good, though), and I don't think the Lakers' offseason moves will live up to the ceiling some might believe they have.

My Bulls should be fun to watch. Or they could be awful. I'm not a time-traveler.

Remember that Philadelphia hates Ben Simmons.

Enjoy this season!

Soderbergh Meets The Nice Guys Meets Scorsese: A Review of HBO's No Sudden Move

Where/How I Found It

No Sudden Move is available to stream on HBO Max. I've enjoyed director Steven Soderbergh's previous offerings (including Ocean's Eleven, etc.), and Taylor and I were excited to check out his latest film.

Spoiler-Free Plot Summary

In 1954 Detroit, two low-level criminals (portrayed by Don Cheadle and Benicio Del Toro) are hired to steal a document belonging to one of the major automobile manufacturer's in the city. After the heist goes awry, the duo comes to realize that the circumstances behind their hiring may have more sinister motivations. Working together, Cheadle and Del Toro's characters navigate through the complicated underworld of organized crime in one of America's most corrupt cities to discover the true intentions behind why their employer wanted the document so badly, and why someone simultaneously seems to have it in for the two of them.

What Was Good

Soderbergh certainly has his fingerprints all over this film from a familiar sounding score to a plot that weaves together ample storylines from an ensemble cast. There might not be a director who has a better grasp on a multi-faceted heist film than Soderbergh, but this film additionally addresses a real historical dilemma (no spoilers) in an engaging way. Del Toro and Cheadle work together well, but my favorite performance was from David Harbour. While never overly-threatening, the film constantly has an air of uncertainty, even if the audience can't put their finger on exactly why.

What Was Bad

I'll just come out and say that the ending underwhelmed me in some ways. While the movie is consistently uncertain from a plot perspective, I found it easy to tune out in the middle and return without missing too much. Essentially, there are some scenes that could be thrown away and the movie wouldn't miss out on the overall effect it has on the audience.

You'll Like It If

• You liked the movie "The Nice Guys"

• Mid-20th century crime movies appeal to you

• Martin Scorsese movies are in your wheelhouse

• You can accept a mystery story that is explained to you, not one that you can figure out ahead of time

You'll Dislike It If

• You're expecting ample laughs

• You're looking for a high-octane, adrenaline-filled crime shootout. This film has its moments of excitement, but it's largely a slow burn with a few moments of high tension

• You want an uplifting message to get you through your week

• You're expecting Don Cheadle to revisit his legendary accent from the Ocean's trilogy

Conclusion and Final Rating

This is a good movie that is really hard to describe succinctly without spoiling major plot points. I personally believe there isn't a signature acting performance or jaw-dropping individual scene, but the movie as a whole is greater than the sum of its parts. The story is fairly familiar if you've watched some of the films I referenced above, but it offers a fresh spin that accentuates an unfortunately (in some ways) overlooked city in Detroit. It's not life-changing, but it's ultimately satisfying.

Final JHMP Score: 6.8